bitter Sweet decision....

i always agree with the saying that Life Is All About Making Decision...i still remember that's what i always told my students back in my practicum times...i told them to be brave to make decisions even though people might not have the same point with you...the most important thing is that, you yourself who determine your future..no one could ever deny that....

just a moment ago, i've made a very big decision in my life...after several considerations and discussion with a few good friends...i finally come to the point where i should make a big difference in my life.something that i never thought i would do it..that is, i would give up my dream of becoming a singer...hahaha, for those who were not so familiar with me, then you will think that i'm just kidding around, but hey...i told you what, i've met so many great people in the industry, and they were seem to give their approval on me...i still remember, back in 2005, Azmeer, one of the strictest juries in GANGSTARZ had been a guest judge for a singing competition which gifted me a very special prize...the scooter bike that i'm using now....he told me that he was impressed with my vocal, he never heard such tone in malaysia before and he persuaded me to go for the reality tv show but i wasn't fully ready yet for it...but i was quite proud of it...another great person who has listened to my singing was Sam Innuendo (one of the group member who has sung the cover version of BELAIAN JIWA and took home 5 awards in AIM'98)....his group was equally said as the malaysian version of the Boys II Men...i used to work with him back in 2006 where i entered a singing academy which required me to do the concert for 5 consecutive weeks...he told me he was very proud of me and for the 1st time in his life he had listen to a very different voice...he even came up to the stage and give me a hug for successfully delivering the song...(Selagi Ada Cinta by my another diva~ning baizura)...those were just a few great moments during my yesteryears...i would always remember it...

throughout my so-called singing career, i've took home several awards from various singing competition (more than 15)...i always gotta win the prize either the 1st,2nd and 3rd place..and from there i was given the chance to sing and share the same stage with a few big names in industry like Amy Search, Aishah, Waheeda, Yassin, Fazli Zainal, Ramlah Ram, Mawi and many others...the moments that i'm not gonna forget...

and the most unforgettable moment in my life when speaking about the matter is surely when my legendary idol, DATUK sheila majid featured me singing with her recently...i shall follow up the schedule and inform it up here so that people would have the same chance to see me and her singing the most unforgettable tune of all time...ANTARA ANYER DAN JAKARTA...and what makes the feeling blooming more and more is because she too acknowledge my voice and tell the others that she wanna feature me in her next show...i know that she might not really mean it but still, it matters me alot....

and now, i shall say, it's a wrap for all those thing...or maybe for some of the real thing...i still wanna enjoy myself singing, perhaps i might be joining the musical class once i've started working...because music and me is inevitably an inseparable thing..everyone's around me know about that...but still, i have made up my mind by not joining any of singing shows anymore...not even for the audition..i believe in my talent (it's not about the angkat bakul thingy ok??you know me you shut up??)...and this is what i can call as a bittersweet decision i've ever made...
it's bad for me now but i know i will enjoy the sweetness of it some other time later...at least my parents wouldn't even have to feel embarrassed upon me and living their lives in a very uncomfortable way when everybody is trying to set their eyes 24/7 on us...that's the most important thing that has come to the peak of consideration, what else huh??like ash has said to me just now, there's nothing i need to worry about anymore, i am already being confirmed with a job just right after i finish my last examination next sem, and though the earnings are not that competitive to the amount i might have from singing, but the price i've got to pay on my privacy would cost me a waaaay lot higher than that...so i thought i should choose the former.i don't wanna jeopardize my happiness that i have know for something which is still blurry and hazy...i'd rather live a simple and quiet life that's a life a would dream for...


therefore, in making the decision to be more significant, i've asked mr tommy to buy me the air ticket on the 11th nov (cos i don't know how to buy on9 plus i don't have credit card)...that means i'm not going to stay in ukm and make myself to live in confusion or wat...xde maknenyer..i would try to make my holidays to be more meaningful...to enjoy the remaining holiday break that i have while i am still a student...and try to be a much more obedient and kindful son and brother to my parents and siblings...(jiwangzzz plak dh...)..i hope people like ash, maria, lenny, pris and others who have always wanted to see become an artiste would respect my decision, whatever it is, i myself who should determine what's best for me...no regrets at all...i feel much better after making this...it's like i have released a very big stone from my back and i feel lighter and wiser now...