The Beautiful Mess

sometimes life can be definitely an inevitable boring and lifeless at all...and this is what i am encountering now.

when the rest of my fellow classmates are enjoying themselves at home during this 2month's break, me on the other hand is going 360degree the other way round...i'm still evolving myself in the uni here; doing nothing at all.=(. i thought i would spend the time wisely by doing some beneficial stuffs like working or living a healthy + positive life but as far as i concern, it didn't turn out like what i exactly expected before...

but somehow, i guess i just love this kind of unsure feelings which i should call it as the beautiful mess...i assume it as part of living process and everyone should be bold enough to actually encounter the thing so that they will be able to figure out the best in themselves...cewah...yeap, most of time i feel so nervous with myself...i always did unpredicted things which my friends would never dare to do so...i know i know, they must think that i am terribly out of my mind when it comes in making decision...yela, when the rests seem couldn't wait to be working as teachers, me on the other hand have the other opinion which is....err, i shouldn't write it down here as that has always become an open secret...you're my friends then you should know what's happening to me ho?? i do admit i am very nervous with the gamble and it really turns me to be so messy in mind but as i said earlier, i consider it as a beautiful mess, where it gives me a space to handle out my future on my own...but of course i don't want to get disappointed if anything bad happen so that's why i'm still here...cos i afraid i would be more disappointed and regretful if i didn't try it out now...am i right??

so now, i should be more decisive...though i know i am not that tough but i have to be definitely strong in defeating my loneliness and homesickness to make sure that i won't be regretting myself in future...bak kate orang, BERAKIT-RAKIT DAHULU BERENANG-RENANG KETEPIAN kan??